everybody has dry spells from time to time – EVERYBODY – but it’s never a draught. at least not in the real world. but i know that’s probably not what you think. thing is, you probably dont realize that what you think is not real. and its not the world.

the world is actually full of women. like really full. and theres lots of em. even when you dont realize it. and even when you don’t think it. its just that your emotions play games with you mind. and vise versa. and all while the real world keeps on doing what it does.

every 18 seconds somewhere a beautiful girl turns 18. every 21 seconds somewhere another beautiful girl turns 21. and for every beautiful woman in the world, there is a guy somewhere who is sick of fucking her.

so its out there, really. and always. whether you realize it or not. so realize it. abundance is not just some ideal, it’s real.

now go out there and get some.

been using my “date control” strategy and it resulted in the easiest lay of my life last night.

here is what happened…

saturday. i am out with my dutch homie. he is this awesome dood from holland i met at a hostel when i first arrived.

it was his birthday and was introducing me to this new drink “sunrise in the sky” at this lounge called opensky.

we were planning on lounging there for a bit, enjoying the music and then going out and meetings some chicks.

my phone rings.

its this girl i’ve been doing my “flirt with her until she asks you out” thing with. she says wants to come meet me. i’m tell her cool thinking this is perfect b/c i can hook up my homie too. 30 mins later she shows up with a friend of her’s with huge tits. loved that i didnt have to lift a finger, and she brought a friend for the birthday boy, cuz sharing is caring.

we bounce to a disco close by for some salsa and more drinks and hookah. another one of her friends meets us. she is hot. so it is me and my homie and 3 girls. we grab a booth upstairs and i start switching off dancing with the 2 cuties while the bday boy is already making out with his present.

waited til my chick went to the bathroom and got the new chick’s #. she was graduating the following week so i set up a date with her for the next weekend to “celebrate”. my chick returns and she pulls me to the dancefloor, away from the competition.

lately, i am much less interested in fancy conversational gymnastics and much more interested in the actual sexual process.

so here i had, at this point, a girl who had clearly decided she wanted to have sex with me. but here is exactly where i’ve witnessed many of my friends lose it, and me not (well, usually). which is actually exactly what happened this night. but why?

well in my opinion, the answer is because going for it when you’ve already got it is often a greater challenge for most guys than just trying to get a shot. i mean, when it actually happens, few are actually prepared and ready to go all the way.

when i was teaching bootcamps with jeffy, i remember he would always start the weekend by asking the guys if they had packed a condom. and the answer was often no…case and point.

now let me present to you…dun-dun-nuuuunh:

the “desire-based” sexual process…

while attention-based attraction is shallow and typically fleeting, desire-based arousal tends to build on itself and grow over time. so b-low (me) i’m going to outline for you HER actions that in my experience express this desire-based sexual process. proof being, it ended in sex.

* ALCOHOL & EYE CONTACT: sharing her drink with me (2 straws) / direct eye contact each time she took a sip / trying to get me drunk
* EROTIC PHYSICALITY: touching my thigh while sitting next to me. touching the back of my neck and griping my biceps while we were dancing. dry-humping/dance floor porn.
* INTIMATE PROXIMITY: getting extremely close to my face
* SEXUAL EXPRESSION: heavy breathing / moaning

SIDE NOTE: sexual expression is most effective when primarily physical.

these were all things she did that i noticed and either matched, maximized, or minimized, all the way to the bedroom. point being, she had already decided she wanted to have sex, but left it up to me to make it happen. (i.e. seduce her)

to continue, the club closes, me and dutch homie say “after party” and my girl goes “my apartment”. she sends the 3rd girl home in a cab and we bounce to her place.

at her place i put on my reggaeton mix (like gangster rap, but in spanish). grab her and grind. 2 songs in, make out. by the 3rd she pulled me into her bedroom.

this was a nice relaxed hookup. we were already kind of friends so there is a nice casual element to it. not sure if ill do her again. she is kind of pale and i prefer that caramel complexion, but regardless a good friend to have to go out and party with. she’s fun.

good night all around. i am liking the causal thing better. its just so much more enjoyable i think. not this lovely dovey shit. more like this is who i am and this is what i do. better to take it easy on being so sweet – regardless of how hot she is or how much you like her.

unfortunately my homie did not get to hook up with his chick that night. i was surprised at this because they had been making out for ever, way before me and my girl. i asked him what happened, and he said he didn’t know, but thanked me for hooking him up with her anyway.

it was obvious both girls wanted to get it that night, but what did one of us succeed while the other one didn’t?

in my opinion the answer is because i was in control of and mitigating the tempo of the interaction. i was RESPONDING to desire, while he was REACTING to attention. his chick was making out with him because he was making out with her. where as i wasn’t making out with my girl at all. instead, seeing her expressions of sexual desire, and playing with them. this caused them to grow even stronger and i continued to do this until we were back at her place where i unleashed the beast.

btw- i labeled this the easiest lay of YOUR life bc with the right strategy it can happen to you just as easily. that’s really the point.

hope you’ve enjoyed reading, let me know if you have…

Sexual attraction makes all the difference.

So a question I hear a lot is “How do I create sexual attraction with a girl I’m into?”

There are doods out there who can approach a woman, talk to her, get her number, even meet up with her and spend time together, but still can’t seal the deal.

I struggled with this myself, putting in years observing and learning from guys who were really good wit girls. Then trying new things out and feeling the awesome satisfaction of getting a phone number from a cutie or even a girl agreeing to hang out with me, only to suffer the rejection of finding out she wasn’t into me “like that”.

And that hurts.

Especially for guys like us who have invested in being MORE attractive. I remember feeling frustrated as hell, even questioning all of the time I had put in, thinking “was it really worth it?” and “what had I actually learned?”.

Well, it turned out it was, and I had. And the answer wasn’t even as complicated as I thought.

I wanted to know what causes sexual attraction. And not the ‘oh he’s cute” kind of attraction where she likes you but still doesn’t wanna fuck. I mean SEXUAL attraction. The kind that makes her WANT you, not the kind that makes her LIKE you. What causes that? And how could I do it myself?

You see, the rules we learned – were wrong. All the bullshit we’ve been taught, just doesn’t work. Acting like you need to win her approval by trying to demonstrate that you’re valuable is no bueno. And tying to impress her with how nice/polite/respectful/funny/entertaining you are will pretty much always result in the opposite of any kind of real attraction.

First, understand these 2 basic levels of attraction…

Level 1 – Interest
Level 2 – Desire

The first level is easy. Because all you really have to do is be relatively tolerable. Decent social skills and something to say will get you this far. But the second level is really what I was after. And it’s what I think you’re after too.

So how do you do it?

The best answer I can give you is this: dynamism.

You can be a total 1-trick-pony and get a girl to “like” you, even to show up and hang out with you. But to get deeper inside, to move her from liking you to wanting you, it takes a more dynamic approach. You have to be able to do your thing with her in a way that creates anticipation. And dynamic expression is the best way I’ve found to do that.

I just listened to a free mp3 of a friend of mine, Richard LaRuina, where he talks about exactly this here. You can check it out here.

Richard calls it “slipping her into a seductive state”. And he gives you 3 things you can do – actual specific techniques – that allow you to do this with absolutely any chick interested.

Thing 1 – Slow down your speech

Thing 2 – Pause

Thing 3 – Hold eye contact

First, notice that a sexual state is characteristically chill. It’s not hyped up and over-the-top. If you are already pretty melow this will be a natural progression. But if you are in super social mode, you’ll need to downshift.

Second, understand that the way you can cause that sexual state in her this in by GOING FIRST. Point being – If she is attracted to you, she will follow. Getting her into that sexual mood, where she feels comfortable showing you her desires, means starting with yourself. So lead the way.

Third, know that the above techniques are useless without GOING FIRST as I’ve mentioned. If the technique is like a car, sexual leading is like the fuel. And you won’t get very far without a full tank.

So that’s about it. Hope you’ve enjoyed reading. I’ve definitely enjoyed writing this one for y’all.

Later,

-B

Here is the audio recording of the call in case you missed it.

Vince goes over some excellent strategies for night time, day time, and same night.

…plus a gold nugget for “closing” that you don’t want to miss (hint: it’s only 2 words).

Take a listen:

[podcast]http://www.naturalchode.com/vincekelvin-keen-teleclassaug13-10.mp3[/podcast]

* BTW- the discount code still works, its “secretcode13″ and you can use it here http://vincekelvin2010.eventbrite.com/

Enjoy =)

Today I want to share a post from one of my mentors Ray Edwards. He is a business guy, but his post directly applies to dating – without question. Check it out…and enjoy =)

-Keen

Source: http://rayedwards.com/the-lure-of-complexity

Sir William of Occam is best known for what we call “Occam’s Razor” – a rule of inquiry that says the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.

Complexity is alluring because it hides accountability. When problems are made to seem complex, accountability for solutions is hard to pin on one person or on one decision.

When solutions to problems are made to seem complex, the person proposing the solution usually doesn’t bear responsibility for the outcome (and the “person” is usually a committee, further complicating the question of who owns the outcome).

The next time you face a problem, try using this simple set of questions to solve it:

1. In the simplest terms possible, what is the problem?
2. What is the simplest, most direct solution to the problem?

At the risk of complicating this post, it’s worth remembering something Albert Einstein once said: “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.”

WHO

2 awesome (if I do say so myself) dudes: Me & Carlos (Xuma)

WHAT

A free teleclass introducing how to be the “good” kind of bad boy.

Basically…

You’ll get a clear picture of how to reap all the benefits of a being bad boy without being mean, misogynistic or manipulative.

WHY

2 reasons

1) To give you an opportunity to get to know this month’s (tomorrow’s) symposium featured speaker – for free.

2) To be cool to you guys. Being a member here has helped me out a lot, so I would like to show some love back.

WHEN

Saturday / July 17 / Noon

WHERE

Here…

Sign up now!

We have room for 10 people on the conf line.

...No more self-pity, no more settling, and please, no more mr. nice guy.

She loses interest, in turn, you feel rejected, and the whole thing ends in bloody failure.

When you step to her, in those first few seconds, the only thing that matters is what matters to you. <– That’s worth writing down. Talk about that. Then she won’t get bored because she will see you actually give a fuck about what you are saying, and instead of failure, you’ll have success.

Hold up, wait a minute…

1. Occipitofrontalis
2. Procerus
3. Nasalis muscle
4. Depressor septi nasi
5. Orbicularis oculi
6. Corrugator supercilii
7. Depressor supercilii
8. Auricular muscles (anterior, superior, posterior)
9. Orbicularis oris
10. Depressor anguli oris
11. Risorius
12. Zygomaticus major
13. Zygomaticus minor
14. Levator labii superioris
15. Levator labii superioris alaeque nasi
16. Depressor labii inferioris
17. Levator anguli oris
18. Buccinator
19. Mentalis

*** AYE!! Leave me a comment. I would like to hear from you ***

She loses interest, in turn, you feel rejected, and the whole thing ends in bloody failure.