The Natural Chode

I will be launching my blog shortly, and I think you will like it.
I have been working for over a year trying to get down my
best ideas on meeting and attracting women and finally I have
some stuff that I’m ready to give you. And it will all be FREEEE!

CONSTANT LEARNING & THE BEGINNERS MINDSET

If I could pick one thing that has caused massive results in my
dating life it is constant learning. And I dont mean JUST going to
seminars. I mean keeping a certain mindset, a certain openness:
the beginners mind. I mean always being open to seeing something
new. A new idea, a new way of looking at things, a new approach.

I have achieved a lot of my goals with women, and in many ways,
am living the dating lifestyle of freedom, choice and consistency I
always dreamed of.

But still, I expose myself to new ideas, and old ideas alike.
Reading, watching DVDs, going to seminars. Each time, finding
something new. I see this as a process, a journey, a marathon
without a finish line.

And that is the point. 

Shunryu Suzuki talks about this in, Zen Mind, Beginners Mind,
and I am convinced without a doubt that this is one of THEE
biggest factors in what has brought me to where I am in my
dating life.

HIGHLY recommended http://www.amazon.com/Zen-Mind-Beginners-Shunryu-Suzuki/dp/0834800799

One of the coolest and most eye opening things about actually
studying success with women is you get to see how inredibly
diverse different guys are in how they do things.

In the 200 hours I spent training and instructing bootcamps with Jeffy,
he always used to tell me “there is more than one way to skin a cat”.
Meaning, there is no one way that success with women HAS to look.
Make it what you want it to be.

Now, I am over 3 years in, and the deeper I get in this the more I see
how true this really this.

But what I am also seeing is how literally every guy I meet that is
truly good with girls understands the same things, and essentially,
speaks the language.

GOOD GAME IS ELUSIVE

I heard a complaint about the infield video on the page for this
months Symposium with James.

(video here http://mehowjames.eventbrite.com)

This guy said that James was too laid back in the video and
was expecting more.

What I could tell the dude didnt get was the sobering truth that the
best game is elusive. Meaning if you see a guy attracting a girl and you
have to ask I dont see it, what is he doing. Then you know he is good.
This is what the game is about RESULTS, not swirly whirly flashy cool
techniques.

Check the video if you want to see what I am talking about.

–)  http://mehowjames.eventbrite.com

A quick update and a quick (and powerful) secret about
managing casual relationships…

I am traveling right now through South America (in Cartagena,
Colombia now) with a guy who is naturally good in this regard.
He has had women since he was young, and was the go-to-guy
when it came to girl advice with his friends growing up.

He also happens to be pursuing his doctorate in social psychology,
which gives him a unique ability to be incredibly intelligent in his
perspective about social matters. This has got to be the best way to
constantly learn about sating: watching other men who are good
with women.

So it has been awesome meeting girls and winging with this guy. He is
good not JUST with women, but genuinely skilled with people in general.
People seem to love him everywhere we go. And the more I talk to him
the more I see we both do so many of the same things…

We spent Halloween in Panama City (incredible), and both met cuties.
Mine, a beautiful Panamanian/Hawaiian girl and his, a hottie Euro-chick.
The next day, we were chatting about managing causual relationships.

There is a major mistake I often see bein made when it comes to casual
context framing.

And it comes in 2 parts…

1- Not setting a casual context for the relationship and instead giving the girl
false hope as a means of trying to keep her around longer.

2- Not remaining congruent with a casual context of the relationship.

The first mistake can often send the girl running if she just wants something
casual. And, it also makes the framing aspect arbitrary, which can be
dangerous.

The second mistake is a good way to quickly deteriorate all attraction you
have built by demonstrating neediness. It also, damages your integrity,
which in my opinion is the most important.

So the solution is clearly to set the context and reamain congrugent
with it. But more than that, I have identified something specific that we do.

This is a little secret with this that has helped my dating life massively.

And it is essentially this…

Expressing emotion PHYSICALLY. Meaning, of course fcuking her
good, but I mean much more than that. It is all in HOW you touch her,
and making it more casual than intimate.

For example, putting your arm around her waist INSTEAD of holding
hands.

Doing this physically is so powerful because it speaks DIRECTLY
to her emotions, rather than her intellict.

It is about using these things repeatedly to constantly reinforce
a casual context. This is how you can, subtely but powerfully,
manage her expections of the relationship. Which can be a
challenge when you are seeing each other and having sex regularily.

Once I really figured this out I was able to maintain three 8 month
relationships, while seeing other girls at the same time. Every week,
I would see one girl Wed, one Thurs, and one Friday, then Sat go
out with the boys to see what else the city had to offer.

…So this one tip is super potent. Hope you enjoy

To Excellence,

Keen