The Natural Chode

Like most things, in the dating game, there is a technical side and an intuitive side. The technical side consisting of content and mechanics, and the intuitive side consisting of instinct and feel. The technical side being the “what” for ex- WHAT you say to start a conversation with a woman, and the intuitive side being the “how” for example HOW to say it.

3 years ago my life with women sucked and i started on my journey to become in this area of my life. and 3 years, 2,000+ approaches, and 900 hundred pages of notes later i have finally learned a sobering truth about game which is that content is irrelevant. There was a point when I sat down with my journals and went over hundreds of different experiences I have had with women. And i realized that almost every time i was thinking about the mechanics, I failed. But when i wasn’t focused on “what to do”, I succeeded, almost every time. Content is irrelevant. Not because what you say doesn’t matter – it does – but compared to how you say it – it doesn’t.

The thing that you don’t realize is this: THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL EVER REALLY LEARN THE INTUITIVE SIDE OF GAME IS BY DOING IT. No one can actually teach you this part, the only thing we can do is show you the way. But the actual learning takes place on a level of instinct – not intellect – something you can only gain from experience. You must learn game by gaming.

Unfortunately, what we have in this internet community of screen and text is far too much emphasis on the mechanical side, on what can be communicated through forums and ebooks, and far too little on the intuitive side. At least 80% of the dating game falls on the intuitive side. But you don’t get that. You are still trying to use rational analysis to understand an irrational process. Largely, why you are still struggling. So you reject what doesn’t make sense, and if it doesn’t make sense you don’t like it.

It is not enough to be intelligent…

From an article on the book Social Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman.

The rules of the game have changed…Among the cognoscenti is the nurse who can instantly comfort with a touch on the arm, the soldier who can be captured by insurgents and released with an apology, the diplomat who can defuse tensions with a well-placed word. And what happens to the socially dumb? They populate the ranks of unhappy spouses, inadequate parents, unfulfilled employees and loners.

You want it to make sense so badly b/c you mistakenly believe that what makes you successful in your technical career, will make you successful with women. But THIS game doesn’t doesn’t work that way. Sex doesn’t work that way. Think about it from the flip side, a girl doesn’t think herself into being attracted to a guy. That’s just not how it works. The second you stop trying to make it make sense is the second you will know what this is truly all about.

Then you have different people dispensing different advice about the same thing and for the novice, it can all get very very confusing. So confusing, that he sits on his ass being confused and doing nothing. At which point this whole thing becomes a fucking circus. Yeeaaah, the POOOAH circus! Wooohooo! A community of men who you would assume want to improve their dating lives, but actually prefer to be entertained by “infield footage” instead of going out and doing it themselves. Like this is some kind of fictional movie. Don’t get me wrong, I like to watch that shit too, but I watch it as a supplement — not a substitute.

Guys, wake up and smell the fucking seamen — this is not a spectator sport! Do you even like girls? if you are confused in that regard, this is not the place to figure it out. This is not a therapist’s office, and it is not entertainment. THIS IS ABOUT WOMEN. Yes, those beautiful curvaceous creatures that are soft and smell nice and love and need sex just like you do. So stop reading and go talk to one.